I have come face to face with a lot of fear throughout my life, but only in the last few months have I recognized what that fear can do for me. I faced my fears when I accepted the job in Alaska, sang in front of friends, or learned to lead climb. I faced fears I didn't know existed when I dealt with heartbreak. I have solo camped in bear country, battled depression, jumped into glacial rivers, and fight hard everyday to be my true self. Sometimes I come out on the other side with scares and bruises, exhausted from losing sleep or pushing my limits, and tears can be a common occurrence.
What have I learned? I do not want to do or not do something because I'm afraid. By letting fear take over I miss out on amazing experiences. If I had listened to my fears, I would have missed out on amazing connections and a beautifully ass-kicking experience in Alaska. I would be stuck behind self-proclaimed limits because the other side was risky and unknown...and staying put seemed more comfortable. There is fear of making mistakes and losing what you have. But mistakes are only mistakes if you don't learn from them, and there can be so much more to lose by staying still or hiding. By risking a fall with lead climbing, I gained confidence in my skills. By sleeping fitfully in bear country, I awoke to a beautiful landscape and a day of hiking. Through breaking my body down in Alaska, I gained a community that feels like another home. And through being myself I find friends that not only accept me, but challenge me to continue facing other fears in my life.
My current fear? Remaining true to myself through the stress of school and the new identity of a counseling intern.
But I'm ready, because this past year has taught me what to do with that fear. Accept it...and face it. As one of the speakers for Tedx WWU puts its: Face Everything And Recover. Because fear is not there to knock you down, it is there as a challenge, an invitation to the other side. Fear is the sign that growth, connection, and recovery are waiting for you. You just need to accept the challenge to get there.
