Monday, July 7, 2014

Master Syd's Adventures in Coparenting

Well, I did it.  I survived grad school and earned my M.Ed. in School Counseling.  You may now call me Master Syd.  Or not.  But doing say may help me feel that it is real.  I had planned to write this whole entry on what I learned, on how I made it through, and on how relieved I feel...it turns out that the end was just as stressful as every other part of the experience.  I learned that I can do things that seem impossible, and that I still procrastinate.  I came out on the other end with amazing friends that I will have for a lifetime because only a select few can understand the battles of enduring a graduate program in counseling.  I am grateful for the every tear, perhaps a little more grateful for the laughter, and am still having a hard time believing that it is really truly over.  Maybe it will kick in when I start my first job this fall at an elementary school and a high school.  I swear, I am a glutton for punishment. 

Which is why this summer I have taken up the challenge of urban homesteading and coparenting in Butte, Montana.  You may be wondering how and why it is that I find myself in these positions.  Didn't I get enough adventure in spending a summer on a fishing scow last year?  Sure I did!  And what I have learned of myself the past couple of years is that I love the challenge of trying something new and going beyond the familiar.  So, last November, when my cousin, Regan, called me up to tell me she was missing family, pregnant with her second child, and this kiddo was due in the summer...I figured why not fill my summer with some family time in Montana.  Things became a little more real when she called me up a few months later to tell me that her husband was heading to Ohio in May to help them transition to a new home in the fall.  I would now be jumping into the role of fill-in parent.  Regan gave me an out.  I took the same stance as I did last summer with Alaska.  Game on!

So, now my days consist of waking up to the face of a smiling toddler who greets me with, "Oh, hey, Cousin Sydney!"  Before I can drink my coffee, I am off adventuring in the backyard, searching for things to fix, or playing baseball with a stick and a pine cone.  The time that I usually spend doing everything I can to find something to do away from my home is now filled with searching for any and every possible activity to do within and around the homestead that my cousin and her husband have created.  In an effort to keep a very pregnant Regan from going into labor before Zack gets here on Thursday, I have dubbed the role of Master Syd, Keeper of the Chickens.  My laundry duties are filled with dirty cloth diapers and soiled sheets, and my biggest battles have become getting clothes on wiggly two-year old, overcoming the fears of the splash park, brushing the teeth of a toddler monster, and the dreaded bedtime.  After Regan and I take turns reminding Keoki that it is indeed time to sleep and we are still here, I find myself taking part in the conversations parents have over, "how can we make that better next time?"

Perhaps the most important conversation at this point is, "what do you need from me when you start going into labor?"  And the answer depends on whether or not Zack is here.  If Baby Jackie decides to come join us before Thursday, there is a strong chance I will be given the opportunity to witness a birth.  On top of the role of coparent, I may also be given the role of birth partner, which both excites and terrifies me.  It is an honor to know that Regan trusts me enough for this role.  She handed me a book (The Birth Partner) to look over for some light summer reading.  And reading the book, while shedding light on the birthing process, outlined the responsibilities that go along with being a birth partner.  I will be utilizing my newly acquired counseling skills to navigate the birthing plan, and hoping that I do not have to go into battle with a nurse or doctor who tries to stray from my cousin's wishes.

I have jumped into this adventure with both feet and am rewarded with beautiful Montana scenery, moments of laughter, toddler cuddle time, and a stronger connection to family.