Sydney the Turkey Genius

The cooks: Carey, me, Maggie

Oh, Thanksgiving...a day where misadventures are behind every oven door and hidden around every corner, and it is your job to avoid what you can.  I just wanna say that I think we did a damn good job. Accept for the part where Maggie started a grease fire...oh wait...that was today.

   The venue: Our house
   The guests:  9 orphans plus me, my sister, and Maggie
   The food:  We provide turkey, stuffing, and gravy
   The plan: Eat, drink, dance, and be merry

   The cooking started at 10am with Maggie in charge of gluten-free stuffing, and Carey mixing together whatever she grabbed from her place and hoping for something good (spoiler alert, it was a sort of veggie casserole...and it was tasty).  I put myself in charge of cleaning and re-arranging of furniture for ultimate danceability (plus, the table was cozier over by the wood-burning stove).  Took some breaks for happy holiday phone calls and belated birthday wishes, then took the outdoorsy role of chopping wood to keep our guests warm.
   1130, time to start the turkey.  Oh, turkey, how we fear you.  Turkey, of whom horrors have been told and shared for centuries.  I approached this turkey, who I named Max, with respect and awe, in hopes that the end result would be kind and delicious.  We poured out the brine for a rinse in the sink and I was forced to violate the orifices of our center piece to make sure all was clean and dry.  Next step, stuffing with veggies.  So many "that's what she said" jokes were told, but cannot be retold for fear of vengeance from the Turkey Gods.  Let's just say, you need to start with smaller pieces before you shove in the big onion and oranges.  To the oven with you!
   By now the beverages are beginning to flow as we prepared for our guests and found some good music.  the wind and rain were picking up, but we were mighty toasty inside.  Carey's casserole was coming along nicely, and Maggie started the veggie gravy for our vegetarian friends.

Yay!

   First roasting period has ended, time to flip Max over.  I am wearing the jacket because the recipe warned of hot juices.  The turkey looked tasty thus far, just needed to brown the underside and do some basting. Let me take this time to tell you about our shopping trip on Monday for the delicious foodies.  After finding a turkey (12.5 lbs of free-range goodness) we realized we were missing the vital cooking tools; roasting pan, turkey baster, brining bag, twine.  It became very obvious to everyone that this was our first time cooking a turkey.  Go us! So, with Max flipped we began the basting and second roasting period.  We were on time!! Unfortunately, our guests were not.
   Turkey was done, stuffing was done, casserole dish thing was done, veggie gravy was done...now for the meat gravy! Had to call my dad for this one. But you know, not too hard to make.  Here is where one misadventure began.  The food was done, we were hungry, and no one was there to eat with us!  I'm sure the food may have been just a LITTLE bit better if it had been served above room temperature.  Because even when people did show up...there was still food they needed to make...what were you peoples doing all day?!  Oh well, the drinks were flowing, so all was well.

The Masterpiece

   As we sat down to eat it was decided that this Orphan Thanksgiving was going to be just as cheesy as any other.  Indeed, we said what we were thankful for.  Because of monsoon season outside, many were thankful for a warm fire with lots of food and friends galore (even some new friends!).  The feast was delicious, the friends were bountiful, and the conversations kept the night interesting.  There was some talk of a dance party, but it was all big talk for those people as they decided to play games or sit and knit.  Bah, a perfectly good dance floor gone to waste.  No matter, there was some solo dancing to burn some turkey calories.  I believe many a bonding moment occurred for those at Orphan Thanksgiving.  I think the highlight of the night was just after we finished eating and all fell into a food coma thinking it was somewhere around 9 or 10pm.  But wait, we started eating at 5 and its only been an hour! Curse you dark skies and full bellies!  We managed to rally to about 11, then our house slowly dwindled to its original occupancy.  I was a little sad that our floors were not covered with drunks.
   Overall the night was a great success.  Yet, somehow, I woke up with a sprained wrist.