Barrier After Barrier

I am finishing day seven of scow life and beginning to understand the warnings I was given. My fore arms, wrists, and hands are swollen and starting to tingle. I got four hours of sleep last night after working 16+ hours throwing fish around. The two days before were 12 and 15 hour work days. Luckily today was a slow day and I found a few hours to nap...only to be told by my boss that yesterday was maybe half as bad as it's going to get. Oh, joy! The next two days should be an eye opener as the King Salmon window closes and everyone will be selling fish they've been catching for days. Fish that weigh anywhere from 8-30+ pounds. Which is great...except when you are lifting, weighing, pushing, and throwing them onto trays and into giant totes then packing them full of ice. All day for two days. I hit a mental road block at least once a day and ask myself over and over again why I'm here. Why am I doing this to myself? What am I trying to prove? And honestly I don't really know. But, I get past each barrier and find myself loving the moment. I'm not sure how long I will be fighting these daily battles. I do know that they make the down time of guitar playing, hot tubbing, and chatting with fishermen and women just a little more amazing. So, for now, I will enjoy a soak in the hot tub to prepare for the long haul. I just have to remind myself...it gets better...and I am getting stronger everyday.